Back to Reality

Sooooo we went back to OT today. I walked in there thinking we would be DONE with all of this. It seems that the therapist has a different agenda. She asked me how he's been doing, I told her I thought he was doing great he really seems to be improving to me. As of today we were going just once a month. After this session she upped us to twice a month....grrrr. She noticed a lot of right sided dominance, I guess I have been choosing to not see it but as he was doing things and she was pointing them out I guess that is how he's been . Its just the norm for him so I don't look at it as different. Oh well, I guess we will just keep going with it :)

She asked when we were seeing the neurologist again, and I said he left it up to us. If we felt like he needed to see him again at 18 months then he would probably order scans again. She said that he comes in and has meetings with the therapists about his patients and Bryson is up for a meeting in a month or two. She said let's see how he's doing next time, but right now I would suggest he continues to follow him. GREAT.

Maybe in a month it will all be gone. Maybe in a month he will be talking. Maybe in a month he will be up to par with other kids. Maybe in a month we will have his labs back and all this will be over. Its been a loooong year, and its starting to wear on me again. I think we have been living a relatively "normal" life with him the last few months. He hasn't been sick, he hasn't had blood work and we have stayed out of doctor's offices. I guess going without all of that pushed the reality of what's really been going on with his little body to the back of my mind. Its time to face it all again next week. He will have his labs drawn next week and hopefully we have the results back by the end of the week. I really think they will be good because he's done so well since I've taken him off the antibiotics. I guess I'm just in a funk right now. I know we are lucky...I've said it over and over again how lucky we are. We get to tuck our little man in his bed every night and there are parents out there who aren't able to do that, but I am really hoping that we can finally be done with everything. I am dreading his lab work. I know he's going to scream and throw a fit and to be honest, I don't blame him. I didn't have a hard time with it all when he was little, maybe its because of my job and its what I'm used to. But the older he gets the worse it is. He understands more now and it just sucks. Let's hope this is it for a loooonnnggggg time for him!!!

Thanks for letting me vent. I don't even know if people still read this thing. I really do it to keep up with his history and its an outlet for me to vent to. Sorry to be such a downer!!

Here's to good labs next week!!!! Fingers and toes crossed please!!!

OT

We had our OT eval last week. It went pretty good. She said she can see the difference between his left and right. More noticeable when he is eating. He doesn't use his left hand to eat and if he does, he passes whatever he has in his left hand over to his right and then eats. It seems like more work to do it this way, but its what he does! Oh well. She suggested splinting his right hand so that he is forced to use his left and I wasn't to thrilled with that idea. I am afraid if we do that then he won't use his right hand at all anymore either! That seems silly to me. Plus, its so subtle, its not like he doesn't use it at all! Anyway, we are going to be working on it for a bit.

In other news...I have made the "nursing judgement" decision to take Bryson off his antibiotics. He was getting a dose everyday to help protect him since he can't do it himself. I figure its May now, so lets see what happens! Hopefully I don't end up kicking myself like I did a few months ago when I did this and ended up with one sick baby! I think this time of year is pretty calm so we will see how he does!! The Immunologist said if I felt like it was a good time to try him off it I could do it, but he would like to wait until after we do his labs in June. What's a few weeks?? Keep your fingers and toes crossed that it goes well for him. I just have a feeling that his levels have gone up, he has done so well!!

Connor just turned 7 yesterday. I can't believe it!!! My baby is 7!! He is such a sweet little boy, so sensitive and he just adores his brother. He just wants to protect him all the time. Its precious. I am so proud of him. He is growing up so fast, now I know what it means when people say it goes by "in the blink of an eye." This is so very true. I love it when I look in the rear view mirror of my car and see the two of them holding hands. Usually Bryson is sleeping and Connor is just looking out the window holding his brothers hand. Its so sweet. Its moments like that that are the best part of being a mom.